PATING!!

I have always been fascinated with sharks. Man-eaters. Can travel at great speed once they spot lunch. They travel alone. Feared by most. Top predators of the sea. You can only find them in the deep sea but when needed they still pass by shallow waters. Very adaptable. Very dangerous.

Of late, I've been classifying men who are great predators as "pating."

I was out with a few friends about two nights ago. I asked one to accompany me so I won't look alone. And the rest I just texted if they were interested to watch the gig with me. Two of the guys who showed up who were old friends are classic patings. Let's call the first one funny pating because he baits preys with his funny hirits while the other one is yabang pating because he uses yabang naman to attract the little fishes. Young, little fishes at that.

Now, yabang pating had brought two more friends who were also patings. And there was also rockstar pating who invited me to watch his gig in the first place.

Upon entering the place, rockstar pating noticed that I was with the friend. So he asks, "Kayo na ba?"

To whom my friend replied, "Tanong mo sa kanya."

LAter, funny pating ang yabang pating with his friends arrived then joined us. They made a 360 degree turn of the entire place and checked out all the hot chicks on the other table. Most of them think I'm already taken and they even raised their beer to my friend for having good taste in women. ME!

Tapos pagdating ng uwian, everybody was expecting friend to hail a taxi and bring me home. But of course, what else would you do with a hottie di ba? Hindi ako hinatid! Bisto!! That's why I call this friend of mine as seaweed.

He was the envy of most guys and he could've used the misinformation to his own advantage. Naki-ride na lang sana. Use it to his advantage that I date hotties like this girl and manigas kayo sa inggit. Hindi marunong bumakod! Tsk, tsk, tsk.

I have gone out with this guy a long, long time ago. Stopped going out and would occasionally ask him to accompany him whenever I know I'm in pating territory. He's a nice guy. But I was never attracted to him. Probably cause he's a seaweed.

Seaweed float on the sea. People actually put fences around it so they can culture it. It does not do "bakod". It accidentally entangles itself but it does not move on its own. And true enough, I was the one who asked him if he wanted to go with me to the gig in the first place.

So after that revelation, the patings were already encircling me. Funny pating volunteered to take me home.

I think I may have acquired pating instincts from hanging out with too much patings. Too darn aggressive that it scares other lesser patings away. I probably should act like...what do sharks eat... tuna? Or maybe like a slab of meat? Steak, anyone?

After subscribing to David D's newsletters, it finally dawned on me that I REALLY DON'T NEED TO DO ANYTHING!!! As it is, ignoring men and being my gregarious self actually attract a lot of them. *slams head on the table*

Geez, where was I brought up anyway? Kink_gurl's School for the Amazons? Where Women learn the Art of Hunting and Preying? Damn! The school is so effective I kill the interesting patings! Gedemit!

But the seaweed do not interest me at all and there's a lot of them! God forbid!

Comments

gender-bent said…
I never watched Jaws and the likes.. scary!! natakot nga ako sa last few chapters ng Deception Point ni Dan Brown eh.. =P
Quentin said…
yay! an interesting post :} san ka na kinks? :( lots of ebs came by with interesting results

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