Kink Likes: Why Men Love Bitches

What I'm currently reading

A few days ago I found this book at Powerbooks, "Why Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov. I can't seem to remember when I found this book on the internet but one way or the other the title just tuck inside my head that I had to copy and save the image and keep it in my jpeg files.

Currently at page 201 of the book. And as I was reading into it, I find myself exclaiming, "Damn! This book was made for me."

I have had problems hooking myself to a man I can call my own for the longest time. Some people tell me that I'm too independent or that I came in too strong or that I know how to speak my mind or that I have too much of a personality. Yeah, yeah... I would have to admit that there a lot of insecure men out there. And yes, I regret even dating them. Well, you know some of my stories. So, most of the time, I think I've had this problem of trying to tone myself down (which is quite not like the usual me) and be nice (which is what I really am) then later on if they don't behave, tell them what I think about him and leave.

Then they all run after me. Cool 'no?

"Why Men Love Bitches is a relationship guide for women who are "too nice." The word bitch in the title does not take itself too seriously---I'm using the word in a tongue-in-cheek way representative of the humorous tone of this book."

I don't have problems calling myself a bitch. In fact, one favorite site of mine made me Bitch of the Year for 2004!!! hehehe I liked my avatar so much that I even dyed a portion of my hair red. It was a dream come true since I've always wanted to dye my hair an unusual color "Kulay kung kulay!!! Pula kung pula!

"So why do men love bitches? An important distinction should be made between the pejorative way the word is usually used, and the way it is used in this book. Certainly, I'm not recommending that a woman have an abrasive disposition. The bitch I'm talking about is not the "bitch on wheels" or the mean-spirited Joan Collins played on Dynasty. Nor is it the classic "office bitch" who is hated by everyone at work.

The woman I'm describing is kind yet strong."

Plus the fact that I've been dealing with a recent client of ours too nicely that I just had to bend a little and be nice to them even when they practically call me everyday and almost every four hours every day just to follow up on something. And I thought, "I'll be nice to them. Just so I don't have to kiss their ass later on when I'm out to pick up the check."

But last Sunday when she kept on insisting that we were at fault and not them that really blew up my fuse. So I gave her a piece of my mind and told her not to blame my technical team for their incompetencies. She raised her voice and I raised my voice even higher. And I was standing on my chair while I was talking to her on my cell phone. In the end, she had to hang up and reasoned out that she had to think things over. Then when she called me back, she had a calmer voice. When I'm pissed off and I know I'm right, "Giyera kung giyera!!"

Hehehe I'm a natural!

"She has a strength that is ever so subtle. She doesn't give up her life and she won't chase a man. She won't let a man think he has 100 percent "hold" on her. And she'll stand up ofr herself whe he steps over the line."

Yeah...yeah. I could be guilty of this, you know. I think I was made to believe that because of women's lib, women can now make the first move. NOT!! There are actually subtler ways to make men dance to your tune without even doing anything. hehehe So why waste your time running after them?

Still, I have yet to find a girl na friend who doesn't lose her head when a boyfriend steps into the picture. Almost every girl I know would have to ask to a guy's approval before they can decide whether they can take a sport or not or do this or that. I know lots of them.

A woman who has a mind of her own is still a rare find.

"In the chapters that follow, you'll find one message coming through loud and clear: Success in love isn't about looks; it's attitude."

Now we partially know why I'm not too successful in the love department. It's not about the lacking in looks department. I think I just got too much attitude. And that's a good thing when you're dancing. Or maybe not? Oh well.. time to adjust it. More balance, please.

"The media would have us believe differently. A teenage girl picks up a magazine and reads: "Get that boy's attention" with an iter of clothing, or a certain look. "This nail color or lipstick will wow him," the magazine assures her. And what does the girl learn? How to obsess over someone else's approval."

This is why I never subscribe to Beauty MAgazines. hehehe They make you feel ugly.

"Then there is the issue of how the media treats aging. The teenage woman evolves into a twenty-something woman with confidence, and the media bombards her with negative images of aging. The message here is: "Two wrinkles and a stretch mard, and she's "marked down" like last season's merchandise that's sold at half a price. And what does she learn? How to obsess over someone else's disapproval."

A month ago I celebrated my birthday. Close to the day of my birthday, I was of course feeling my age and was feeling a little glum about it. Then I started thinking these thoughts aren't helping me feel better about me so change it! Like come to think about it, I'm bolder, I'm hotter, and much more desirable as I got older compared to when I was younger--I didn't know half what I was doing or where I was going. And definitely, it's not true that women lose their value as they grow older. In my experience, I knew what I wanted as I got older. Attitude...attitude! hehehe

And the writer adds on at the introduction...

"So what's the message of this book? It's that a bit of irreverence is necessary to have any self-esteem at all. Not irreverence to people, but rather, for what other people think. The bitch is an empowered woman who derives tremendous strength from the ability to be an independent thinker, particularly in a world that still teaches women how to be self-abnegating. This woman doesn't live someone else's standards, only her own.

This is the woman who play by her own rules, who has a feeling of confidence, freedom, and empowerment. And it's this feeling that I hope women will glean from reading this book."

Yeah, I like this book. Made me feel good about me! Well... that's just me, it's not a universal truth that everybody has to like it.

"The bitchy women who are so love by men give off a devil-may-care quality and, yes, have that "edge" This is that same edge, coincidentally, that men say they find so magnetic. The difference is this woman isn't looking for it outside herself; it is a special quality she carries within."

Enough said. Just like no man is the end all and be all of any woman's existence. A bitch is this woman who'll say it right into your face, "This is me. Deal with it." If not, she walks away.

So I say to myself... It's about time I stop apologizing for being who I am.