Wish I Knew This Long Time Ago *wapak*



I knew I was one but kept denying it.

Blame it on that Catholic schoolgirl upbringing. Could be that part of being raised in a predominantly patriarchal society. Sometimes blending into the crowd clouds one's true identity. Maybe that Sub to Domme stage had that in the middle "Switch" role. Or, maybe I just could not decide yet in my younger years.

This is all new to me, will definitely do more research. This book looks like an interesting read, might be a good place to start. (I hope it's available in Philippine bookstores).

Browsing through the Table of Contents down in Amazon... hmmm... yes, I have fetish with the smell of leather for a looong time... I had a Dungeon and Dragons Thief character who was soo into whips (because I like it) ... I wanted to study Striptease and Pole dancing some two years back ... and yes, I definitely want to learn how to do Knots. And no, I do not like being ordered around. I'm okay with chaos but hate being NOT IN CONTROL of the chaos.  

Tell-tale signs I simply refused to acknowledge. Tsk, tsk.

To answer my question from long time ago: TO KINK OR NOT TO KINK.

It's a loud, resounding TO KINK!

Looks like I've been "kinking" for a long time now. Took a 22-year old Belgian sub who was asking me "permission to call you my Mistress*" to finally dawn onto myself  "Hey, why don't you just give in?!"

All that power is addicting and feels oh-so-good! Soo much pleasure. Very potent.  It's like being drawn to the dark side--- it's pointless to resist. Hahaha.

It was fun. I just found out another side of me. And no, not doing this Domme-ing professionally. It is reserved for a priveleged few. I swear I will only inflict pain to those subs that I really, really like.

 

-------

*PS- I prefer Goddess to Mistress. 

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hey Hey,
Good tip for life: Always, but always, stay in control.
Sunday, August 31, 2008 5:35:00 AM
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